My name is Jimmy! I like de cars soooo muches dat I want to work on thems all te times. I got sum new tools for X-Mas this year and I'm so exsited to help fix your car trubbles. I got a rench and a hammer and a scor driver and a saw and a flash light so don't worry and think dat I don't have the right equipments.
I've been working on cars for lots of years and have many years of experiments. Even when I wuz a little boy my dad let me fix his cars so you knows I'm real good at it. I'm 25 now but when I was born I was 0 years old so you know I have at least a lot of years of experiments. Trust me! I can fix ur radio or ur driveshaft belts. I even once fixed the engine top! The bottom part was all dirty can you beleeve it? My cousin Dave says I probably need to tell all of mah cusstumers that I'm a little special but I don't know what that means so instead I want to tell you a few of my rules so you know I'm good.
rules:
1. I only buy CRAFTSMAN'S TOOLS like Bob villa says! They are only the ones that are best.
2. I buy all of de tools evar evar made! Why wait and buy tools as you need two? If you have all of them evar you will always have all of them.
3. always fix what you thinks is the problem first. If it doesnt fixes it then fix the next thing you thinks is the problem. you will eeventially get it right!
4. I sometimes buy tools from not crafstman if they are power tools.
5. Girls are stoopid because they cry when I yells at them to stop yelling at me cuz I don't want to cuddle. bitch gawd rawr!
6. I cant always fixes ur cars cuz i also counts money at the bank sometimes. Sometimes i play with my dog Taco!
7. Sometimes my friend Sean is the best but also sometimes he is stoopid and i am better. sometimes i have sleep overs with Jack who is also a friend. I have lots just like my tools.
8. I'm a reepublican cuz Sarah palin is soo hotz that my pants don't fit sometimes. Also me and the last president (who was also reepublican) reads the same books. I can't evar find waldo!
9. i love fixing cars so let me fix yours YAY!
*Legal Disclaimer - 'Jim Meyer Handicap Auto Repair' operates as a not-for-profit organization. James Meyer does not have any accepted certification in the auto technician or repair industry. His facilities are not insured, nor held liable for any incident involving properties residing at or on loan to James Meyer's place of residence. The 'tools' James uses to 'work' on all cars are Fischer Price (not endorsed, All rights reserved) brand toys. No actual work is carried out by any supporting member or employee of the Jim Meyer Handicap Auto Repair Foundation for Better Mental Health and Wellbeing. James' cousin, Dave, and his caretaker, John, both oversee his interaction with all property brought to the residence. James is also forced to wear cooking mits while operating in any 4 foot radius of all said properties. Donations are accepted, but no actual payments may be made for any 'services' performed. All invoices received from James Meyer are null and void in the state of North Carolina.
